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Tonto's Terrible Tremolo by Charles Novia.
I have restrained myself for a couple of years from commenting on
Tonto Dike's career after my last comments about her role in the soft
porn movie she acted in two years back, were badly taken by her and
she went on twitter to hurl infantile insults on my person with
expletives and uncomplimentary remarks. My reaction to such then was
just a dignified silence.
After all, I had already spoken on her stunted talent as an up and
coming actress and further comments on her incensed tweets were
unnecessary.
All through the past few hours, the social media networks have been
abuzz with the new singles of actress, Tonto Dike.
She seems to have joined the actors of her ilk who have the
moonlighting itch to delve into singing. While no one can stop such an
ambition by those artistes, I do think those who surround such
artistes are their worst enemies if they can't tell them the truth
about leaving their sometimes doubtful day job. Well, I will! I
listened to Miss Dike's two singles a few minutes ago and my initial
speechlessness morphed to a nagging laughter and then subsided into a
befuddled anguish.
I'm a music label owner (November Records) and have produced and
Executive Produced acts like Majek Fashek, Terry tha Rapman, Zubby
Enebeli etc. I know much about music and the slant of commercial
music.
But after listening to Miss Dike's songs, I'm inclined to align with
the majorly negative comments about them on cyberspace. Ah-ah!
Whoever produced her knew she has a bad voice for singing and masked
our listening torture with the Autotune effect. But even the
autotune rejected any attempt to make a bad. voice worse and Miss Dike
came out sounding like she was in mid-stream orgasm instead of
singing! Her anguished tremolos would have been better reserved for a
horror movie sound effect than an attempt at joining the revere
profession of music.
If Omotola got away with her last two terrible attempts at singing,
it was because Omotola is a fantastic actress and her fans could
forgive her musical failings after backtracking her body of work in
Nollywood. With Tonto, I can't say much either for her acting depth.
She's a one-dimensional actress in my opinion, who mistakes notoriety
for fame. She needs more training in acting and this I say with all
sense of professionalism as a movie Director. She might achieve
greater heights in acting if she trains more. But she has no heights
to achieve in singing. Only a downward plunge, the stuff bad endings
in movies are made of.
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