have destructive results for both you and your loved ones.
Uncontrolled anger can lead to arguments, physical fights, physical
abuse, assault and self-harm.
On the other hand, well-managed anger can be a useful
emotion that motivates you to make positive changes.
More often than not, we find ourselves seething with rage over
something we probably could have reacted more calmly or different to
and then we begin to feel remorse afterwards.
Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to
deal with it in a positive way; it's when we allow our anger take
control over us that it becomes a problem.
Health problems
The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic
changes that accompany recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause
harm to many different systems of the body.
Some of the short and long-term health problems that have been linked
to unmanaged anger include:
Headache
Digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
Insomnia
Increased anxiety
Depression
High blood pressure
Skin problems, such as eczema
Heart attack
Stroke.
Do you want to put your anger in check? Start by considering these 7
anger management tips.
No. 1: Take a timeout
Counting to 10 isn't just for kids alone – it works for adults as
well. Before reacting to a tense situation, take a few moments to
breathe deeply and count to 10 or longer. Slowing down can help defuse
your temper.
If necessary, take a breather from the person or source of your anger
until you feel calm or in control of emotion again.
No. 2: Once you're calm, express your anger
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an
assertive but nonconfrontational way. State your concerns and needs
clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control
them.
No. 3: Get some exercise
Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially
if you're about to erupt. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a
brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other favorite physical
activities.
Physical activity stimulates various brain chemicals that can leave
you feeling happier and more relaxed than you were before you worked
out.
No. 4: Think before you speak
In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later
regret: words are like milk, once spilled, they can't be gathered.
Therefore, take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying
anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
No. 5: Identify possible solutions
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue
at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door.
Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in
the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind
yourself that anger won't fix anything, and might only make it worse.
No. 6: Stick with 'I' statements
To avoid criticizing or laying blames on others — which might only
increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem.
Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you
borrowed my textbook and tore off some pages," instead of, "You are
always careless with other people's property."
No. 7: Don't hold a grudge
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative
feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself
swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.
But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn
from the situation. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave
exactly as you want at all times.